Only me...and I know that for internets safety you shouldn't put pictures up blahdy blah...but no one besides Bryan comes here, so I am going to put up a pic of my Shane that I stole from his flatmates facebook. I have to do these things because a) he never wants to take photos with me b) he always looks happier in photos with other people (mostly because he has been drinking a little - enough to be relaxed, that is) c) I am not allowed to drink at the flat (because I am too young by dad's standards and yeah what 21 year old wants to party with someone who still has a curfew and homework?!)
So, I tried to put in my little (pathetic) cropped picture of just Shane, but I couldn't. So I had to put the whole photo in there. DAMN
See, here's the thing: since we can hardly ever see each other these days due to work and school and other crap I miss him a lot and get very possessive when he tells me about what he's been up to with his female mates. Like the one in this pic.
It's hard to adjust to him having flatmates and parties (without me) as it is. Then he has to go and make friends all the time!
Sadly sometimes these friends are lacking penises. So now he is partying (without me, lets not forget) with girls (without me, lets not forget) and being perfectly innocent (I know this because I trust his word), but still partying WITH GIRLS WHO ARE NOT ME, WITHOUT ME. Yes, this definitely makes me seem clingy and jealous. And I probably am. But there was a time (about a month ago) when we saw each other damn near every day and he never wanted to know anyone other then me. Now he has found a whole new world of stuff that is FUN. Freedom, parties, drinking, the whole student life style. I can't blame him for wanting to explore that. In fact I was the one who insisted he move out to get away from his unsupportive parents and go to the Polytechnic to become a qualified joiner (His dream job). But my life hasn't changed... and I worry I am being left behind. While he is out having fun with "the boys" on a weeknight, I am working at the shop. Or doing homework. While he is out having fun with "the boys" on the weekend, I am sitting on the couch with Dad watching Coronation St and fighting with my brother. Well, I mean usually I go out drinking on Friday with my friends (I have friend's too. I don't have much time during week to see them but they do exist for me lol) but Shane can't make these shindigs most of the time, which can suck when it's un-official "Couple's Night", or there are enough rooms for people to pair off into... I usually end up in front of a t.v making polite conversation with Spotty Norman (Spotty Normans are *everywhere*. They are just not always named Norman) and trying to pretend he is not staring at my breasts and asking "innocent" (Sadistically motivated) questions about how Shane and I are. Like this:
"I haven't seen Shane here for a while, are you two o.k?"
"We are fine, Norman"
"O.k, if you're sure. Because you are such a great woman Andie, I want you to know I'm always here for you..."
"Norman?"
"Yes?"
"Thanks for your concern. But Shane and I are fine. You can keep your crying shoulder to yourself."
Anyway, where was my point? Oh yes. Because he's got a lot more freedom then me, I worry he will leave the high school girl behind for someone more on his level (i.e, girl in pic)
But for now, I love him and I trust him completely
And when he surprises me with a cuddle and a flower, and tells me he loves me back... I trust that too :)
